Can't Blame the Seasons
by Tossino
Summary: Lavi wishes he could blame spring for feeling overly happy, and autumn for feeling strangely down, but in the end, it's mostly because of Yu. LaviYu/LaviYuu/LaviKanda, shounen-ai, oneshot.


HAPPY LAVIYU DAY!

**Title: **Can't Blame the Seasons

**Summary: **Lavi wishes he could blame spring for feeling overly happy, and autumn for feeling strangely down, but in the end, it's mostly because of Yu.

**Pairing: **LaviYu

**Genre: **Romance, General

**Rating: **T

**Warnings: **Shounen-ai, implications of possible sex if you feel like interpreting it that way, Kanda's foul mouth~

**Disclaimer: **If I owned DGM, it would be a shounen-ai manga and these two would be together. : D

This was at first going to be a drabble, then a short oneshot, and now it's just a oneshot. xD And yay for not ignoring timeline? Anyway. This was written for one of the 100 LaviYu themes at http: / /100LaviYuu-themes. deviantart. com/

Point out any spelling mistakes or grammatical errors, please, and enjoy~

* * *

**100 LaviYu themes**

**#4**

**Seasons**

**Can't Blame the Seasons**

Spring is the season of love and life, the time of the year where the animals find a partner and reproduce, the time of the year when after a cold winter the warmth makes the human heart soar and humm, the time of the year when despite how things suck you can't help but smile, the time of the year when everything is looking brighter and everyone just feel happy, happy, happy.

Exorcists don't ever get any rest no matter what season or holiday it is, but the work doesn't seem quite as heavy when the cold is going away and the sun does what it should and keeps you warm even during cold times. The world always keeps turning no matter how many bad things happen and the sun will shine and it will rain, and that's just how it is, but it will always be easier when you're able to see the sun and it brings some light onto the battlefield, and you see a lonely flower that survived it at all, and a few animals that dare peek their heads out of their safe holes like the troopers they are.

Spring is the season when all emotions go wild, and not even a Bookman escapes it. At least not a Bookman apprentice.

The only one who seems really unaffected is Yu.

He keeps frowning and scowling and he doesn't show a single smile, just like usual, and Lavi has to wonder how he can do that because it really seems like he's not affected by spring, and Lavi shouldn't be either. He wants to know how Yu does it. He's sort of happy Yu doesn't smile, because that would be wrong, and he likes the frowns and the scowls and the dark, dark eyes that pierce through your head with imagined katanas when they glare, but he also sort of wants Yu to smile because he wonders how it looks like, because when he tries to imagine it he can't. It's such an outwordly idea.

But maybe Yu actually is affected by it, the spring, just a little, and you simply can't see it. That would make sense, because this is Yu, and Yu will always be Yu no matter what season it is, that Lavi is sure of, and Yu doesn't seem like the kind to be affected by seasons, by sun and love and life. He keeps on going as if the couples around them aren't showing their love for each other in all kinds of ways that don't go too far.

Lavi normally wouldn't care, but somehow he does, and he wants to be close, close to Yu, so he's hanging off of Yu and grinning and cooing silly things, until he gets shoved off.

And he sniffs about how Yu doesn't love him, and gets told to shut up.

And then Akuma appear and duty calls.

Once back in the Order, Lavi decides to watch Yu train, because he knows it's a special thing. And it really is, and he finds that his heart flutters when he watches those muscles move under the pale skin of his bare upper body and the sweat that glistens after a couple of hours. Yu's skill is breathtaking, and yes, Lavi finds his breath hitch several times. He doesn't know what's wrong with him, and he decides to say it's because it's spring, that he feels such need to be close to Yu and to watch his every move like this, every twitch of muscle, so closely.

And then Yu plops down next to Lavi, his breath heavy as he pulls back his fringe so that it stops sticking to his moist forehead, and his eyes are closed and his eyelashes are so deliciously beautiful when they move as his eyebrows twitch.

Yu is a gorgeous, gorgeous creature and Lavi will not deny that anymore.

The gorgeous, gorgeous creature drinks some water.

"That was amazing, Yu," Lavi says and turns to face Yu, his legs tucked under him and his palms lying flat on the ground in front of him, and his voice is very soft and almost somewhat breathy. Yu must notice. "Who taught ya?"

Yu's eyes open slowly and he looks at Lavi, an eyebrow raised questioningly because, yes, Lavi is aware he's being weird. But the eyebrow is just as gorgeous as the rest of Yu and he finds that he can't quite take his gaze off it. Every detail, he must see every detail.

"Some senile old man," Yu says gruffly, and he still doesn't seem affected by spring, and mmmm, his voice is so nice. "What the hell are you looking at?"

The eyebrow raises higher, and Lavi smiles as he shifts and his hand itches to grip Yu's where it lies limply next to his thigh.

"Your eyebrow," he answers honestly, still with the same weird tone, but with a not-weird amusement to it.

"..."

Yu blinks, and his expression is very much surprised now. It's very cute. But it doesn't last long.

"You're a fucking moron," he says and drinks more water. Lavi wants some water to drip down his chin, but it doesn't happen, poo.

"Ne, Yu," he says and leans a bit forward, and gets a grunt after a moment as a sign to keep talking. "Does spring make you feel weird?"

Yu looks at him as if something's not right in his head. Maybe it is so, he doesn't know.

"Weird how?" Yu asks dryly.

"I dunno, I think weird is different for everyone," Lavi says and shrugs a little, and smiles, and wants to be closer. Maybe he sort of moves a bit closer too. "But I feel like... warm. And happy. And like I wanna be close to people, 'specially to Yu~"

He pulls a little name pun as well. He loves Yu's name because it makes for such lovely puns.

I love Yu~

For example.

Yu cocks an eyebrow again, and Lavi takes notice of a slight upwards pull of his lip.

"Sounds pretty normal to me," he snorts.

Lavi blinks, and shakes his head.

"It's not, not this much," he answers, and he's very close to Yu now and Yu turns to face him, and he's so very happy for that even if it's strange.

"Weird," Yu says, with a frown.

"Weird," Lavi says, with a grin.

They are almost close enough to share breaths.

"Can I touch you?" Lavi asks - exhales - because his fingers are itching, itching to touch, touch, touch, please~

"Why?" Yu asks somewhat bitterly.

"Because... I want to."

Pause.

"Che."

That is probably as much of a "sure, go ahead" as Lavi will get, so he grabs that, and raises his hands. Yu turns his head away, still scowling, and Lavi knows now that yes Yu is feeling a bit weird, because... Or maybe it wouldn't have mattered if it was winter and he would still let Lavi do it... Lavi isn't so sure. But that doesn't matter.

He breathes calmly, but deeply, and his fingertips touch Yu's shoulders, and he watches how the skin twitches and Yu bites his lip, and that his cheeks are getting a bit pink. It suddenly hits Lavi that his cheeks must be pink too, because he's feeling very, very warm all of a sudden, especially on the cheeks, and he's torn between moving his fingers up to check how Yu's ears feel and if his hair is as soft as it looks, or down to check how hard those muscles on his stomach and arms really are. So his fingers are stuck on the shoulders, and he just doesn't know.

There's too much to explore.

His heartbeat is really increasing quickly, and now he knows what he wants to touch. His right hand slips down to settle over Yu's heart, and he feels happy to feel it beating hard as well. And now he's grinning like a fool. A very happy fool. And it feels good.

Emotions... feel good.

Right now, at least.

Yu's hands are fisted in the grass.

"Yu," Lavi says, pretty loudly compared to before, and Yu snaps his head back to look at him, and his cheeks are very red now.

And Lavi's are too.

Lavi feels that he can't explore it all right now. Not here. Not this moment. It's enough to hold his hand over Yu's heart, but... He must touch the hair, so he does, and he does it so that he can trace Yu's ear with his thumb.

Lavi can feel Yu's breath on his face now. His heart is beating all the way up in his throat and he can hear it clearly in his head and-

Their lips meet, very briefly, just a brush, and Lavi loves it. But Yu jerks away, and breathes heavily and haltingly, as if that was wrong when it really _wasn't_.

And Lavi wants Yu to realise that, so he follows and presses their lips together properly, because he wants this, needs this, and he tries to tell himself that it's because it's spring but it can't be only that because he has always had fascination for Yu and... He wants it.

Yu gives in, and he actually touches Lavi back; his fingers clench at the back of Lavi's neck and he presses a fist against Lavi's shoulder.

. . .

There are way hotter summers than those in England, Lavi knows, because he's experienced a few and it sort of is common knowledge. Or maybe not.

But summers are always hot and Lavi personally gets tired, yup, because some parts of the Order, like the library, do suck at keeping the heat away. And Lavi spends a lot of time at the library. Some Order members said something about this summer being surprisingly hot too.

Ohh, and Yu gets even hotter. More sweaty and more yummy. Sadly, he doesn't let Lavi touch him again, like he did back then.

Spring is over, all the crazy lovey-dovey feelings have probably died down for most because they're used to the sun and warmth now.

But not for Lavi.

And he wants to touch, damn it. He wants to touch especially much when Yu rolls off the bed in the hotel and his hair is disheveled and sticks a little to his back and shoulders because it's hot so you sweat when you sleep even if the window is open. Lavi sleeps without a quilt because of this but Yu doesn't, and he shouldn't cover up that lovely body of his, seriously. Not when it's this hot.

Then again if the hair will stick to him like that if he does then Lavi's not so sure he can complain.

Lavi purrs a bit to himself and moves to bury his face nicely in the pillow, because he must do so and the image of sleepy Yu is now deeply etched into his mind so yep, it's alright to do that now. At least for a few moments until Yu tells him with that amazing voice to move his lazy ass and get off the bed because they have work to do. Lavi grunts and rolls off the bed as well, yawning and running a hand through his hair and then grinning, lazily, at Yu, and he has to tell Yu what a gorgeous body he has, so he does. Yu tells him that a mission isn't the time to talk such nonsense.

To Lavi, that sounds pretty close to an invite, a confirmation that he's allowed to say those things, just at the "right times". Ohohoho, Lavi is insanely happy now~

Yes, he knows that he's really letting things get to him too easily, but he just can't help it. He likes Yu too much.

Yu sort of invites Lavi into his garden when they're back home. Sort of. It's more like he doesn't chase Lavi away when he heads there and Lavi follows, and that's pretty close to an invitation when it comes to Yu. The garden is a small closed off area outside of the Order, and going there without permission has a death penalty (no, not really, but Yu probably says so, but Yu says a lot that he most often doesn't mean). You're not allowed near it, anyway, and Yu allows very few near it. Very few would probably be Lenalee, and maybe Tiedoll and the rest of that little group, and now Lavi, hooray~

"D'you like me, Yu?" Lavi asks as he sits down on the ground in the middle of the small garden, crossing his legs and leaning his elbows against them as he watches Yu take care of his plants.

"What?" Yu replies somewhat sharply and pauses in removing weeds to look over at Lavi with an annoyed and slightly suspicious frown. "What do you mean 'like'?"

He shrugs and smiles widely. Considering that they kissed once, it's pretty understandable that Yu looks at him like that, isn't it? It's not as if Yu likes to talk about such things in general, at all. Yes, he clearly doesn't approve of that question one bit, but Lavi's curious.

"I dunno," Lavi says and tilts his head. "Can ya stand me, is maybe a better question. Or maybe I should ask whatcha think of me."

"...you're annoying," Yu says dryly, and he means that both as a statement and an answer.

He continues to remove the weeds and Lavi stays silent for a while, more exactly until he's done with the weeds, and that's the only time when he hasn't been training that Lavi has been silent for that long. He sort of finds it unnecessary to be quite as annoying when Yu's doing something he likes to do, genuinely likes to do.

"They sleep during winter, right?" Lavi asks, even if he knows they do.

"Yes," Yu answers dryly.

"It sounds nice. Sleeping for so long," Lavi says somewhat absently and eyes one of the flowers. "I wouldn't wanna sleep during winter, I like winter, but... autumn, maybe. Though the colours are nice."

"What the hell are you going on about?" Yu snorts.

"I dunno," Lavi says and laughs a little. " 'twas just somethin' tha' hit me."

"You're an idiot."

He grins. Yes, he is, Yu, and you know it~ That's just how it should be.

"I can be your idiot?"

It slips out before he can stop it, but he's not so sure he would have stopped it in the first place, and he moves so that he's kneeling and leaning forward on his hands, looking at Yu expectantly. They kissed, damn it, so...

Yu freezes on his way to a bush, and for a few seconds, seconds that feel like too long and Lavi doesn't really breathe during, he doesn't move one bit. And that's bad isn't it? But then, he turns his head to look at Lavi with a shocked expression, and it's somewhat confused as well, and it looks like he's struggling to wrap his mind around what was just said.

"What?" he asks sharply, his gaze moving back and forth rapidly as he eyes Lavi, as if searching for something. "What are you- How- When- I-" He grits his teeth and turns his head rapidly to look away, glaring at some random tree instead. "CHE!"

Lavi smiles and gets onto his feet. He walks up to Yu, and he's touching him now, touching his arms, and Yu glances at him with a dark glare, but not quite as dark as it could be. And, oh, he's blushing again.

"Idiot," he grumbles and whacks the top of Lavi's head before leaning into him, and Lavi at first thinks with disbelief that it's because he wants to be close or something, but then he's suddenly lying on the ground, and Yu is very much still standing.

And Yu has put a foot on his stomach.

"Your idiot?" he suggests again and grins.

"Shut up," Yu says heartfully, and he knows he's been accepted.

. . .

Then it gets colder. Autumn is cold and grey and boring in the sky and bright and colourful on the ground as the leaves fall from the trees around the Order. It covers the whole ground and it's an amazing sight. Lavi's somewhat sad that he's not around to see it, because he does really like it, and he has a clear image of the last two times in his mind. But now, he's been out on the battlefield for a while.

It's not so colourful and bright here at all, and he finds himself longing for winter when he might get the chance to see some place where the snow covers the ground in a perfect sheet of white. If he gets to be at the Order, he most likely will, but with the way this war is going, he's not so sure.

Autumn is cold and grey and that makes it hard to be very happy, and that's a normal thing for humans. But it shouldn't be a normal thing for a Bookman, nor a Bookman Apprentice.

Ah, he's getting very carried away, isn't he? Into this whole feeling thing. But it's so nice most of the time. It sort of... just happens.

Ah... He hasn't seen Yu in so long. That could explain it, couldn't it? Yu brings out such strong emotions out of him, it's not good. Yu, Lenalee... Doug. They all do. It's not good, but...

He wants to see Yu, because if he does, he knows autumn will seem brighter. And that's so damn cheesy but that's how it is.

He's a Bookman, he is, and that's what he tells himself, but... He has kissed Yu, and... He committed himself to Yu, without actually keeping track of what he was doing. He's an idiot, he really is.

But he's Yu's idiot-

Goddamnit.

He gets to see Yu on a mission, and yes, autumn does indeed get considerably brighter. Or more like the area around Yu gets considerably brighter. They're heading to get settled in in the Inn (haha), and Lavi is so very, very happy to see Yu again, so very, very happy, because it has been weeks now since the last time. But the wind is very cold, so even if he feels warm because he gets to see Yu, it's very cold.

And Yu seems as unaffected by it as always.

He's talking about this new kid that joined the Order a while ago, and it makes Lavi realise how long he actually has been out on the field, and he calls the kid "bean sprout" until Lavi asks for the actual name. He scowls and obviously doesn't want to recognise that the kid has a name, but he does say it; Allen Walker. He says Allen's an annoying and naïve brat who doesn't know his place, and Lavi is intrigued, but he's still very much focused on Yu because he'll meet the kid one day and he can focus on him then. Allen and Yu have obviously gotten off on the wrong foot.

When they finally get inside their room, Lavi drapes himself over Yu.

"The fuck, rabbit!" he growls and shuts the door with his foot, but doesn't make any motion to shove Lavi off.

" 'twas cold outside, Yuuuu~" Lavi sort of whines and sniffs a little, pouting. Yu has to practically drag him over to one of the beds. "But Yu are very warm~"

"Yeah yeah," Yu drawls and sits down on the bed, crossing his arms, and Lavi hugs him tight. "Are you done so we can get to work soon?"

"I dun' wanna go outside yet," Lavi sniffs and presses his nose against Yu's warm and soft neck, breathing, and oops his nose is runny, hrm. Better move away so that Yu doesn't have to blow a gasket about snot on his neck.

"Lavi. Work," he says blankly.

But Lavi doesn't miss the way his skin twitches from the brushes of breath.

"Just a few minutes," Lavi mumbles and moves closer, tightening his grip around Yu so that he's not draped over him anymore. "We can waste a few minutes, right?"

Yu shivers, barely visibly, but he does shiver, and his ponytail brushes against his uniform's collar as he turns his head a little so that his chin ends up on top of Lavi's, and Lavi's not sure it was intentional or not, but it doesn't really matter, because he likes it. He brushes his lips over Yu's neck and sniffs because of his runny nose.

"A few minutes is enough for Ak-" Yu begins, and Lavi silences him with a quick kiss.

"When any Akuma see us," Lavi says calmly and moves away from the edge of the bed, pulling Yu with him, "they will transform." He turns Yu to face him and strokes his cheek, and ear, and temple, and hair. "They can't see us here." He leans forward. "If any Akuma transforms and attacks out there, we'll hear and then we'll go." He pauses and smiles at Yu's scowl. " 'lright? But I... wanna... explore."

"What?" Yu asks, dryly but still softly, silently, and glares a little as Lavi starts to unbutton his uniform. "_Lavi_, this isn't the _time_. We can't just-"

Yu goes quiet, probably from surprise, as Lavi suddenly sort of dives forward and latches onto his neck with his lips, and then Yu grunts and pushes at him, and he fiddles with the buttons because his hands are shaking a little, and he's blushing, and Yu must be blushing too, or he'll feel silly. Yu's breathing heavily now, about as heavily as Lavi, and his hands finally move from where they were fisted at his sides to grab onto Lavi's jacket and clench the fabric firmly, and tug on it pretty harshly, and Lavi thinks he can hear him grit his teeth.

"La- Lavi," he tries again, and gasps a bit for air as he tugs sudden and hard enough on Lavi's jacket for him to nearly fall forward-

Okay, he does fall forward, and they land on the bed with Lavi on top of Yu, and somehow their lips connected during the fall. Lavi really has no idea how, but he's not going to complain, because Yu's tongue is dancing with his and it's lovely. And Yu is still gripping his jacket and still pulling at it, while arching his back up as well, and both of them shudder.

Lavi breaks away, and Yu growls silently as he grabs Lavi's zipper with trembling fingers, and yep, he's blushing pretty nicely.

"If you... are going to... 'explore' me..." he pants out, and somehow manages to smirk slyly and use a steady and stubborn tone aside from the panting, because he's just that awesome, isn't he, "then... I'll explore you too, damn it."

"Go ahead," Lavi breathes out and smiles. "That's only... fair, isn't it?"

"I hate you," Yu grumbles breathlessly and yanks the zipper down, then grabs onto the now open jacket again to keep Lavi still as he pushes himself up on his elbows so he can bite Lavi's jawbone, "for making me... postpone work. Bastard."

Ohh, Yu's breath feels lovely on his jaw~

"Just a few minutes, Yu~" he cooes, even if they both know it's going to be longer than that if they get a say in it.

. . .

Winter is the coldest and darkest part of the year. Most people don't like it, at least not in the north, because it gets cold and dark and it makes people feel down. Lavi only feels down during autumn, because he loves winter. He doesn't mind at all that it's cold if he gets to see the snow. The innocent, beautiful, wonderful snow. It's not that he can't stand seeing the torn land, the consequences of war, no, because he's used to that by now, but... He still likes when the snow covers it.

And he likes the winter nights when there are no clouds and you can see the stars twinkling above and your breath comes out in clouds, and you sit next to a friend on the top of the Order's tower and talk about life and existing, and dreams and goals, and about jumping off the tower and being able to fly. And being called an idiot for thinking about stupid things like that.

That's what winter should be.

It shouldn't be a hunt for a man who's under the threat of death because he's one of the powerful people, it shouldn't be the near death of a friend and then leaving said friend behind as they leave to keep hunting the man on a cold and treacherous sea. It shouldn't be an attack from the most powerful Akuma yet and Lenalee's loss of her Innocence and her hair and her uniform and the death of a loyal ship crew and supporters of the Order. It shouldn't be the attempt to stop hundreds, no, thousands of Akuma from doing whatever the enemy is planning on the rooftops of Edo.

That's not what it should be, not at all.

But, oh, there is Yu, and it has been too long for Lavi's liking since they saw each other, and he wants to kiss Yu and hold him and tell him how much he loves him because yes, he does love him, and he doesn't know if they'll even survive this and Yu should know, he should know, but Lavi hasn't told him yet.

But it's not the time, and Bookman is there and definitely keeping a close eye on Lavi, and it's on a damn battlefield so no he won't do it, but damn does he want to, he really wants to.

But there is Lenalee and the others to think of too.

Winter shouldn't be a seemingly hopeless struggle against the Noah on a plain where Edo used to stand. Lenalee please be okay, but oh, there is Allen too, and how the hell that can be Lavi doesn't know, but Allen is actually there, seemingly stronger than ever, and he challenges the Earl, the idiot, but he seems to hold up fine, so the others have to hold up too.

And then there's smoke everywhere and then it's over, the Noah are gone.

So the Exorcists wander off to lick their wounds. A broken bridge provides cover.

Lavi pulls Yu away, out of sight from the others, by the side of the bridge.

"I missed you," he says and smiles, hands on Yu's shoulders, clenching a little, almost massaging. "I really did, I..."

And now is the point where he should tell Yu that he loves him, damn it, but the words just won't come out because... it's wrong.

"I..."

"Che, be quiet," Yu mutters, softly, and glances to the side for a moment, his ponytail lightly brushing against the stones behind him, and then looks back at Lavi with a slight frown. But it's a soft frown, in a way, however that works. It works for Yu.

He's saying that he missed Lavi too, probably.

Lavi may not be able to say what he wants to say, but he can kiss Yu in a way that says just as much, if maybe not more, and Yu can kiss back just the same and they can pull each other as close as possible to show how much they _want_ and _need_ each other. And when the kiss breaks, Lavi keeps holding Yu close and buries his face in the crook of that lovely neck and just breathes that oh so calming scent that he needs just as much as he needs that warmth.

"Lenalee was very sad for a while," he mutters, his voice muffled. "She probably still is, a little, but now that Allen's back, not so much..." He swallows heavily and lets out a shaky sigh, clenching Yu's coat in his hands. "It was hard. And I made her sadder. And... I..."

_'I care too much.'_

"Idiot," Yu says fondly - so that there's an unspoken "my" before the word "idiot", almost - but still rather bitterly since Lavi did hurt Lenalee after all. "This isn't the time. It's really...not the time."

"I know."

Yu softly pushes Lavi away and gives him a very tiny smile with just one half of his mouth.

"When we get back, we can talk," he says blankly and changes the position of Lavi's headband.

Lavi nods slowly and glances towards the rest of the Exorcists, though he can't see them from here.

"When we get back."

When they have found Cross, more exactly.

...

And who knows how long that will take.


End file.
